YIN-vitations

for those who journey to The Land

but first, a little side-note/confession:

i didn’t always appreciate The Land.

In fact, for the first handful of years with Anthony, i perceived it as just another area to ‘maintain’ that needed focused time + attention, resources, organization. During most of those years we were also up to our eyeballs with massive home renovation movements, all while both of us were working full-time and then some. When we’d come out here, i sorta closed an eye + ear to all that this space wanted from me, us. It was a lot, and i was easily overwhelmed by it.

And then the world slowed waaaaay down in 2020, right in step with a premonition + plan to close my season of working in public education, to release myself from the roles, the hustle, the need or desire to be anyone in particular.

A space was created for stillness, an invitation for recalibration presented.

And quite suddenly, The Land became something More.

For over five years now it has been a holy classroom of unlearning, of deep remembering, of reciprocal nurturing.

An intimacy, a partnership has birthed ~

with Her, within myself;

One and the

Same.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Qualities of Yin:

Softness, slowing down, rest, stillness, darkness, womb/incubation-space, water, intuition, death, quiet, autumn/winter, nurturing, creative, patient, receptive, listening

It is the perfect time of year in which to share this, love-notes-to-self that i’ve collected along the way as i have, little by little, been attuning myself towards greater balance in my inner + outer worlds. We are being fully-embraced by the first wave of yin-season, with nature’s transmissions coming in so clearly, yet are seemingly so difficult to integrate into a world that tells us to ‘yang’ at every moment. This is the incoherence we sense as we head into this part of the cycle where society (family, religion, capitalism etc.) tells us one way to be, while the natural world - that is us - tells us pretty much exactly the opposite.¹

A reprogramming is required if we are to feel the somatic effects of being more aligned and in tune with our connection to our deeper-self, others, and Gaia, our living, breathing planet.

Hence the need to plug into frequencies that support this return, this remembrance. For me, this splash of land we steward has offered so much in this realm over the last handful of years.

This is a love letter to anyone who points themselves towards The Land, simple yin-vitations to entertain, if chosen; if the pull, the opening is felt to accept a deeper-yet-subtler way of interacting with the experience of The Land. These have arisen out of my own rounds of prioritizing time here, my years of calling upon this space to work its medicine within me, knowing that it is in my court to create that intention. They speak to The Land’s yin-esque qualities, serving as portals of inner-transformation. i have adamantly, at times, turned toward the oppositional forces of What the World Wants, rebelliously choosing rest, quiet, and solitude here. Perhaps there is a rebel in you that understands this yin-like version of resistance.

Hello, beautiful soul ~

The very “yes” that is drawing you towards The Land is in-itself a powerful messenger. It tells you something about what you are desiring, craving, needing.

Maybe you can name what “this” is;

Maybe it can only be revealed on the flip-side.

Maybe it’s not meant to be named or explained at all.

Maybe the whole point is to feel . . . and to let that be enough.

Whether you will be among many or few, whether your time there extends into two days or three (or more ✨), these are some invitations to explore as you feel inspired.

Before you set-off, take some moments to consider what role you wish your phone to play during this time. Let those in your inner circle know that you’re pointing yourself towards spaciousness, and that might mean some distance from your phone as well. Which means to be even further from those who love you. Maybe verbalize to him/her/them that releasing yourself from the tethers of technology is an act of self-love that feels necessary in order to fully submerge into the vibration you are desiring. Create a space for them to lovingly witness your detachment and trust.

The “getting there” ~ the drive, the journey up, holds its own potency. Try not to over-look this. At a minimum, allow the stretch of Red Canyon Road to be filled with intentional space of musical/lyrical frequencies that align with what you are calling in for this adventure. Or, perhaps this is the stretch where silence gets to be felt, where the tapering-off of stimulation begins.

Wear sandals +/or bring an extra towel for the drive. Plan to make a brief stop just after Dinosaur Flats and across from Cleveland Quarry. There is a lovely little rest-stop on the right with easeful access to Four-Mile Creek, the ribbon of water you’ve been following that also runs through the canyon from our perch on the plateau. Take your shoes off, and give yourself the gift of feeling the (invigorating!!) mountain waters pass over you, to feel her wise, paradoxical teachings of immersion + impermanence, of strength + softness, of fluidity with an orienting force. Breathe and stay in the water as long as you can handle it. When you feel complete, dry your feet, shoe-up, and thank the waters for her gifts and all the life she nourishes in this rocky, desertous terrain.

Let the windy nature of the road, complete with its recommended 15mph-turns, give you the permission to may need to start slowing yourself down. Yes, the excitement to “get there” is real. Yes, i’m certain you could turn that corner at 35mph. Yes, you could accept Google’s projected ETA to the gate as a personal challenge and shave some minutes off by maxing your speed on those straighter-expanses. Try to notice these patternings to push, and create space for allowing. This assists in softening, and emanates a message of “I trust that whenever I arrive, I will be right.on.time.”

Ok, so Shelf Road is imminent, and if you didn’t receive the memo about slowing down, it will swiftly come to you now. Your presence is required in that extra-sort-of way that a single-lane dirt road with a dramatic 300ish-ft drop-off asks. Stay as right as you can and go slow around the blind curves, keep a peripheral awareness to any potential cars approaching on the horizon, and dodge any divots or fallen rocks. If it feels like you’re in good visibility, and there’s an ample-enough spot for another vehicle to pass, consider pausing or even getting out of your car to experience the energy of this landscape in a way that hyper-focused, white-knuckled driving does not permit. Take in the silence, the texture, the way light/shadow play with the topography, the powerful aliveness that lives in the stillness of the rock. The cycles of life and death can be deeply felt in the ancientness of this space, an invitation to feel into the humbleness and preciousness of what it means to be alive.

The GPS will take you to a steel gate, one we share with the Bureau of Land Management. You’re almost there! However we’ve arranged for you to move through it, sense into the beginnings of feeling held here. The gate locks behind us, creating the outer edges of a loose container. No randos are finding their way up, no unexpected surprise visitors. Nobody is just “dropping in.” Feel into the intentionality of placing yourself in this embrace.

The final stretch of road up is its own exhilarating sub-journey. Take it as slow as you need to (except that first switchback - you’ll want to approach that turn with a bit of speed, swinging as right as you can before launching up + left). Just before you approach Cactus Cliffs, stop, turn off your vehicle, and get out. Take in the expanse and glimpse already how far you’ve come. Maybe you’ll spot some human specs scaling the rock walls and/or hear them call out into the echo-y chambers of the canyon. As you resume your upward climb, you’ll then pass through the second gate, and ramble on some bumpier portions of the road. This section is always under a bit of maintenance, as the powerful carving nature of water over the rock tends to foil our efforts of smoothness. Let yourself be jostled around a bit with the remembrance that nature is not to be “controlled.”

As you make that final left turn into the Field, breathe in the vastness that is available here. Do you wish to cozy-in to a spot near camp, or are you wanting a more secluded area to nest yourself? You decide the distance you desire, the space you wish to ‘take up.’ Tune into the edges of your comfort zone on the Spectrum of Aloneness; notice how this simple choice can offer varying versions of experiences

Whether your psuedo-home is a tent, a camper, the top or inside of your vehicle, prepare and tend to it with a certain essence of ceremony. Creating a cocoon-space with care will support a version of deep sleep out here you likely don’t experience much. Or maybe ever.

So, what’s next, now that you’ve landed?

Whatever you need.

This yinvitation, this withinquiry, is so uniquely personal to you ~ what do you need or desire, from moment to moment? There are no expectations, no need for roles or performance.

Ultimately, dear one, you are free here.

Free to experience a version of who you wish to step further into or ‘try on;’ free to put the Hats of Identity aside for a hot minute, or let them dissolve altogether. Nature has no use for the ego-persona.

Free to join in on activities; free to be alone + away from others.

Free to bring language into the moments through dialog or journaling; free to put down the words for a while and allow the purity of silence and presence to permeate.

Free to decide how important it is to “know things” - the clock-time, what’s “happening next,” even the weather “forecast.”

Free to meander, stroll, explore;

free to be still.

Notice.

Listen.

Sense into the spaces where releasing the grip of the mental/verbal habits opens up channels of heightened hearing, sight and smell. Give yourself the freedom to fully indulge in the sensory world, in this elemental playground.

Out in the Field, take a spiral-voyage inward on the meditation path. With each intentional step, feel your breath + body respond to the sweeping, wild winds one minute and impossible stillness the next; the 360-degree grandeur paired with your own precious feet padding the earth.

Find a comfy horizontal place to rest and attend to one simple task: watching the sky in all of its ephemeral-ness, tilting your gaze towards the heavens and all the magic + wisdom that sprinkles down from the clouds and stars.

Take a yoga mat, blanket, water bottle (always bring water), and make a lil solo pilgrimage out to the Edge. Situate yourself carefully on the craggy limestone, and feel into yourself, here on the verge of it All. If you time it well, this is an outstanding perch to receive a rising moon over the canyon. Howl, if you’d like.

As night settles in, consider ways to nurture your body after all that the day has required; the elements and movements made will likely have made some imprints. Grab a pair of clean socks and enjoy a fireside foot-spa bath ~ i’ll heat up some catchment water and bring the Dr. Bronner’s. Let the soothing waters work their cleansing magic, dissolving the dirt, sweat, and anything else that feels ready to be rinsed + released.

Let the darkness naturally draw you towards your bed-space, regardless of what the clock says (i dare you to not look 😉). Feel the syncing of your body with the patterns of the sky + earth, a primal, intuitive rhythm-system that is allowed to be fully-honored out here.

Similarly, allow the morning sun to nudge you awake. Layer-up, if needed, and find a spot out in the field to experience the dawn’s slow, sprawling blanket of light + warmth inch across the layers of landscape as the sun climbs over the ridgeline. It is an active time for the winged ones, too; your quiet stillness + patience will be rewarded.

The time will come, eventually, to begin your return journey home; your humans, animals and work things are likely beckoning you back. The motions of packing and departure will ensue, a reversal of all that was the ‘getting here.’ But before you point yourself south towards the Sangres and let gravity guide you down to the gate, Shelf Road + onward, take a moment to notice: what has shifted within you? Let whatever nods of nourishment + pockets of peace you’ve gathered in your time carry you through these movements. Allow those nuanced noticings to take up residence and ripple out as you reintegrate anew to the outside world.

So drive safely, friend, and send gratitude to your past-self for making this happen, an honoring to your intuitive knowing. Nature truly is the medicine that brings us back home to our own True Nature.

The Land will be here for you when it’s time to return again.

Blessings on your path ahead.

Click on this beautiful capture of Sonya on the Edge to watch a brief video that touches in on the energy of these yinvitations ~

1. i wrote a piece two years ago, entitled “And Now It’s Time to be Grateful: Some Musings on the holiday season” ~ check it out if interested ~ also in audio format 🙌